There are five main categories of women that you will be able to score a quickie with:

1. Hot chicks with a positive self-image and strong confidence
2. Ugly chicks with a positive self-image and strong confidence
3. Hot chicks with low self-esteem
4. Ugly chicks with low self-esteem
5. Fat chicks.

The reason the "fat chick" category above wasn't broken down is because fat chicks are pretty much broken down already. Of the types above, ugly chicks in category 2 are the most annoying, not because they're ugly, but because they think they're not. Ugly chicks with confidence are constantly grappling with identity crisis by thinking that they belong in category 1.

Women feel vulnerable after sex, and this is especially true if they get nothing from it (likely). If you want to score after a follow-up quickie, you need to take advantage of this fact by lowering her self-esteem. The first time you score with her, you need to make sure you put your best foot forward and impress the hell out of her. Make it quick, but keep it classy.This will bait her into thinking that you're a great lover, and she'll be willing to do the three-pump crotch tango with you again at some point.

After sex, you need to plant the seeds of self-doubt into her mind by telling her that she was "pretty good." Do you see what just happened here? The word "pretty" used in this context will act as a buffer to lessen the effect of the word "good," causing her to wonder what exactly about her performance caused you to hold back your compliment. If done correctly, her self-esteem will be lowered, giving you a great opportunity for a follow-up quickie, at which time you can be as unspectacular as you want.

The only exception to this rule is when a woman has low self-esteem to begin with. A good way to find out is to make an offhanded comment about her physical appearance or smell, and if she doesn't react with violence, then it's a safe bet that she's insecure. Make her like you on a superficial level by getting her to laugh, and you're set.

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/10 10748

I hate living in Egypt. I generally don't like most of my friends because I have almost nothing in common with them, and the ones I do like are foreigners. Why? Because as some of you can most probably tell, I'm a westernized Egyptian living as an expatriate in his own country. I feel like I belong elsewhere, like the US or UK. THIS is why I resort to the internet to get what I call my "fix" of western culture.

About a year ago I ran into this girl called Sara through Facebook. She had lived her entire life in Virginia and just moved to Egypt with her mother and sister. She hated life here just as much as I did, seemingly for the same reasons I had. We sorta clicked in a way, and we became friends (not close friends, just friends). To her, I was the sort of friend she can talk to about absolutely anything that comes into mind. She sort of had the same effect on me, mainly because I don't have a lot of people I can "be myself" around. Hence why I like hanging out with foreigners and other westernized Egyptians like myself.

A few facts about this girl before I continue:

- She's 4"11.

- She spent her senior year of high school here, and is now in her first year of university.

- She goes to this CRAP university called Modern Sciences and Arts. MSA is one of those universities that pick up losers with no future. It's easier to get into than community college. When I asked her why she went there instead of some respectable university like the American University in Cairo (which I'm in), she told me it was because her father told her that the lower the university fees, the higher the chance of her getting a car.

- She hates her friends. All of them. She calls them "fake". When I offered to introduce her to some "real" people who at least make MY life in this country bearable, she rejected me. Her "fake" friends hate her because they get that "dislike vibe" whenever they talk to her. She's also pretty stuck-up and egotistical.

- We only talk to one another online or over the phone. I've only met her in person a few times before the summer, then I started seeing her on a daily basis after she started university (I go to her uni to drop off and pick up my sibling. Usually I'll hang around the place as I have lots of friends in it).

- Her grandmother recently developed lung cancer because of her smoking habit. Sara was a non-smoker when that happened, and she made it clear that she hated smokers because of her grandmother's fate. What's sad now is that she started smoking a few months ago, taking a few puffs here and there, and now it's impossible to see her without a cigarette in her hand.

- Slightly-relevant: I ran into her at a party in Halloween. We almost got into some fight, but being the bigger person I apologized to her.

Anyways, at some point in the future our conversations started becoming "bland". She'd usually cut things short or ask me what the hell was the point of what I just said. I didn't get what went wrong, but knowing that I'll never find out for sure because she was a woman I backed off.

A few days later, the Bush-shoe incident happened. I was discussing it with her online and I jokingly told her "I guess he sure shoed him". She responded with "You're one cheesy mother. That made me sick." I thought she was kidding for a moment until she started insulting me, then blocking me. So I got on her Facebook wall and wrote this:

"I'm glad you showed me your true colors. I can finally see why so many people just don't like you now. Enjoy what's left of your life here."

I removed her from my friends and the next day I get this message in my inbox. Below is my response:

http://img357.imageshack.us/img357/796 6/
54175862me9.jpg

Btw, "zebby 3aleeky" is a very insulting Egyptian swear.

The next day at about 10 PM I get this phone call:

"Hello?"

"Hello"

"Am I speaking to Ahmed Bially?"

"Yes."

"My name is Gamal Hamza, I'm Sara's friend."

"Yeah, hi."

"I want to see you."

"You want to see me?"

"Yes, I wanna meet you right now."

"Nah, I don't think so. I don't have time for you. You think it's normal to call people you don't know and meet with them?"

He handed over the phone to some other guy who kept swearing for about two minutes straight. I couldn't say anything back at the moment as I was sitting with my family at home, so I snuck into the kitchen and just as I got away from my family the dude hands over the phone back to Gamal.

"Listen you asshole, either you meet me or I'll get you using my own methods."

"<insults>, show me your methods motherfucker, I'm waiting."

Then I hung up because I was getting too loud.

I went to her university the next day, and she walked past me with a VERY annoyed look on her face. I looked back and smiled. Every now and then I'd glance at her and see her talking to some guy, then they'd both look at me. She's plotting to have her guy friends "do something about me". It's very pathetic.

Now even though I'm glad I got rid of this horrible excuse for a human being, I'm still a tad bit disappointed that I lost a friend I can relate to. I have very few people like her in my life, and although she may be a terrible person, she (unfortunately) has a brain. I thoroughly enjoyed our discussions, and so did she.

If there's one thing I'd like to share with you besides this story, it's this: always rub facts in people's faces instead of insulting them. I could've just called her a bitch and gotten it over with, but I knew it would not leave an unsettling burn in her lexicon. I needed something with a lasting effect, and I gave it to her in the form of detailing every little flaw of her character. She can't come up with a decent comeback.

Once upon a time, a young, somewhat naive bear was playfully chasing a rabbit through a thick, dense forest. Their little game of hide-and-seek came to a screeching halt when the rabbit tripped over a magic lamp, which unintentionally released a magical genie trapped inside it. The genie stretched his arms out, took a long, sickening yawn, and thanked the duo for saving him from his enchanted prison. As a token of his appreciation, he told them that he shall grant both of them three wishes each.

The bear decided to go first, and without hesitation asked the genie if he could turn all the bears in the forest into females, except for himself. The genie went "so be it" and in the blink of an eye his wish was granted.

The rabbit gave it some thought, and then, very calmly asked the genie for a motorcycle helmet. The genie was somewhat confused at this unusual request, but granted the rabbit his wish anyway.

The bear frantically rubbed his furry chin and said "Screw this, I want more. I wish all the bears in THE COUNTRY to be female, except for myself!" The genie granted him his wish, and the bear started squealing like a 16 year-old girl on her prom night.

The rabbit stood silent for a minute or two, then asked the genie for a motorcycle. The genie asked the rabbit if h was fully aware that he was wasting his wishes, and the rabbit said "just give me my damn bike already." And so the genie granted him his second wish.

Now feeling a lot more intense about his third and final wish, the bear gave it some reaaaally deep thinking; muttering to himself whilst weighing several options and possibilities. All of a sudden he goes "You know what? FUCK IT. I wish ALL THE BEARS IN THE WORLD TO BE FEMALE, EXCEPT FOR ME!" The genie gave the bear a dirty, confused look and asked him if he's sure that this is what he wants. The bear nodded frantically, and his final wish was granted.

"So, what're you gonna do with your last wish?" said the genie to the rabbit. The rabbit doesn't respond. Instead, he very slowly, very calmly puts on his new motorcycle helmet, gets on his motorbike, starts the engine, and takes one long look at the ecstatic bear next to him. He slowly stretches his arms across the handlebars, then looks up at the genie before driving off, saying:

"I wish this bear was gay."

I submitted a design to this contest and need people to vote for my design. First prize is 10,000 LE (approx. 1,818.79 USD).

I had to choose one of the following briefs:

1) Desexp - Desert Safari guides: (sand ski & hiking)
Have you ever gone skiing? Ever thought of SAND skiing? Diving into the desert sounds fun? We take you beyond your imagination to an adventurous experience. Be the first to explore the magic.

2) Party - Event Planning Services
Whatever your occasion is, we take it from scratch & bring the best out of it. From children's birthday parties, through weddings and honeymoons, to a fifty year anniversary party, you can find everything you need with Party!

3) Petmarche - mans' best friend online
When it comes to animals, Petsmarche is your place to be! We're the one organization in the Middle East that handles it all. We offer what you can't find elsewhere; mating, classifieds, pet taxi, adoption, pet supplies and much more.

4) Hot Dot
Large format print shop When it comes to large format, we are hot stuff. We print it quicker and better than the rest. Using the best equipment and materials, you can rest assured that you won't find a better large format print shop in town. And by the way, have you seen our hot van? We deliver!

I chose PetsMarche. So far I only have two serious competitors, but I'm pretty confident I might win something.

Short version:

I WANT TO BE A DIRECTOR. TO BECOME A DIRECTOR, YOU HAVE TO KNOW SOMEONE FAMOUS SO THEY CAN HELP YOU.

Sherif Monir's nephew (Sherif Monir is one of Egypt's most prominent actors and motion picture producers) wants me to help her and her cousin (Sherif Monir's daughter) design, manufacture, and sell t-shirts (alongside other merchandise) for them. They've ordered the printing machines and are setting up shop somewhere near my area. All I've gotta do is wait.

Long version:

I've always wanted to be a director, but such a career can only be achieved through one method in this country, and that is through the help of knowing some "high-ups" (if you know what I mean). Sherif Monir just so happens to be "in my reach" at the moment. And by helping these two lovely ladies in their business, I JUST might get close to him. You know, "get to know him" personally and all that. Hopefully by then he'll realize how much I want to be a director and help me rise to stardom.

Holy crap...I just realized I'm being VERY materialistic... o_O

*changes subject title*

Not exactly liking the fact that they've removed all our sigs though.