It's not easy being arab_freak. Everyday, and despite my extensive attempts at trying to look unrecognizable in public, I get more and more women (and a good chunk of men) driving by my apartment, honking their horns, yelling out my name, and throwing their underwear at my balcony; effectively drowning me in their panties. This is very upsetting of course, as I always try my best to keep the stalkers at bay. I never give out my number. I always make sure nobody's following me when I'm driving home. I always dispose of any napkins or eating utensils that have been near my mouth. I pick up my own hairs from the barbershop floor whenever I'm getting a haircut. And most importantly, I constantly keep tabs with the people on my Facebook friends list.

It is often during those times where I come across these individuals who I have absolutely no memory of adding. They just sit there clogging up my homepage with pseudo-intellectual psychobabble. Who are these pseudo-intellectuals, and more importantly, why am I unable to recall meeting them in person? Surely a man of my stature would never agree to affiliating himself with people who have to fill their otherwise vapid lives with stupid copy-pasted bullshit to make up for the fact that they have absolutely no personality or opinions of their own. And more often than not, its girls who do it. I can't stress the amount of pain I feel every time I read a copy-pasted Marilyn Monroe quote used as a status update by some bimbo airhead. Do they not realize they are all carbon copies of themselves, recycling the same bullshit over and over again? What happened to REAL women; the women who know their real value in this world?

Nevertheless, some of it is unintentionally hilarious, so I've done my best to try and round up a few of my favorites:

And he says" I never wanna see you cry" because he knows he'll never be there to whipe your tears away!!

This of course is very insulting and degrading, as it insinuates that men are mere emotional toilet paper rolls that are supposed to "whipe" a woman's tears off her face.

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him

Again, this is degrading because it stereotypes women as stupid and beautiful (not all women are beautiful). Whoever posted this is basically agreeing to the fact that she's a shallow idiot, as it seems every man who's ever been interested in her was a direct result of the way she looked. I find this sickening because its hard to believe that out there are men who actually consider a girl who sports these quotes on her page to be worth the trouble of hitting on.

Dignity in humans involves the earning or the expectation of personal respect or of esteem. It is the respect and honor associated with an important position. This emphasizes on the importance of dignity in one's behavior as well as how a dignified person can become a role model for others. Let your'e self-dignity come first.

Lived a lie for far too long. Its time to move right on

"Prove yourself and learn to love yourself"

You can't see it, but the girl who wrote these three quotes originally added her initials at the end to tell you she made it up herself (except for the first one, which was copy-pasted from some random website with the final sentence being typed up hastily to pass it off as her own writing). Its a completely unnecessary move on her part because any sane human being can tell she wrote it herself from the significantly dumbed-down grammar and even dumber logic. I've noticed women do this most of the time because they think they can trick you into thinking they're deep and witty, but in reality they're just trying to use as many big words as they can that wouldn't otherwise be in their day-to-day vocabulary and shoving it down your throat.

and i can't imagine how i'd make it through, there's no me without you.

Normally you'd assume this is the sort of thing you'd read on a 16 year-old girl's profile, but you'd be amazed by the number of women who are years older than me putting this crap up for all to see.

When im older and my daughter asks me who my first love was, i don't want to have to pull out the photo album, i want to be able to point across the room and say he's sitting right over there

More fantasy love bullshit. Like hell you're going to marry the person you first fell in love with. Besides, if you DID pull out that photo album, how do you think the guy sitting across the room would feel about it?

Never regret something that once made you smile. Just move on with a smile on you're face.

With a smile on "you are" face. Right.

I know what you're thinking: "But arab_freak, what if these girls read this and find out what you said about them?" Well I say tough shit, its not like they're smart enough to come up with a decent response. The most they'll do is try to get their dickhead boyfriends to start a fight (because a fight is what proves me wrong), or at the very least, remove me from their friends list like the rest of the assholes who don't like me criticizing them (because that's going to make all the bad text disappear!). Hahahaha, just kidding. None of that is going to happen. They'll all come to this note but leave frustrated after not being able to read any of the words.